...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
