The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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