based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
