Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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