AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
