Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
