He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize