Please, let me fuck your mom
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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