WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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