My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
