We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
