My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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