I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize