i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
