who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
