Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
