I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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