Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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