If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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