I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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