Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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