Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
