Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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