I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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