forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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