Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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