I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize