Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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