she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
