Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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