your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i permit you to call me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
