btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
