he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
