You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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