Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
