carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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