He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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