Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize