are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
