yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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