I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
