tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Enjoy the penises
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
