They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
