Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
