Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
