Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
