I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
