Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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