you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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