Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
