He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
