five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm having to shit out rocks
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