She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
