i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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