4 words: hood of his car
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
