so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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