am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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