I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
