he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
