Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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