I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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