Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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