At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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