i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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