How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My cat gives me a boner
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
