she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
