i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
