I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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