The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
