Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
